List all your funny quotes here! I have a huge list of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl Quotes

Barbossa: I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no".

Town Clerk: Jack Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Captain... Captain Jack Sparrow.

Town Clerk: ...impersonating an officer of the Royal Navy; impersonating a clergy of the Church of England...
Jack Sparrow: Oh yeah, heh heh

Will Turner: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair... from my back.

Jack Sparrow: [to Weatherby Swann] I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
[to Commodore Norrington]
I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.
[to Elizabeth]
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry...
[to Will]
Will... nice hat.
[to Everyone]
Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you...
[backs up and trips over ledge]

Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Jack Sparrow:
[repeated line]
That's interesting...

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!  

Governor Swann: I'm told it's the latest fashion in London.
Elizabeth: Well, women in London must have learned not to breathe.

Barbossa: How the blazes did you get off that island?
Jack Sparrow: When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Jacoby: I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain.
Elizabeth: You like pain?
[hits pirate in the head with a pole]
Elizabeth: Try wearing a corset.

Grapple: Say goodbye.
[a sign swings down and hits Grapple through a shop window]
Will Turner: Goodbye.

Norrington: Well, I trust it you will always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow almost escaped. Take him away.

Norrington: You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor... I know it's difficult for you... but please, stay here, and try not to do anything... stupid.

Will Turner: We're going to steal a ship? That ship?
Jack Sparrow: Commandeer. We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.

Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.

Will Turner: Elizabeth goes free.
Barbossa: Yes, we know that one, anything else?

Parrot: [squawk] Wind in the sails. Wind in the sails.
Mr. Gibbs: Mostly, we figure, that means 'yes.'

[Elizabeth in rowing boat heading toward shore]
Elizabeth: Bloody Pirates.
[back aboard the Dauntless, Ragetti sees the Pearl sailing away]
Ragetti: Is it supposed to be doing that?
Pintel: They're stealing our ship.
Ragetti: Bloody Pirates!

Will Turner: This is either madness... or brilliance.
Jack Sparrow: It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide.

Jack Sparrow: Scarlet.
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
[a blond woman approaches]
Jack Sparrow: Giselle.
Giselle: Who was she?
Jack Sparrow: What?
[She slaps him]
Jack Sparrow: I may have deserved that.

Jack Sparrow: One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going: This girl... how far are you willing to go to save her?
Will Turner: I'd die for her.
Jack Sparrow: Oh good. No worries then.

Jack Sparrow: [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody is now!
[Seeing Norrington's ship off shore]
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no living with her after this.

Jack Sparrow: [Wakes up and sees Elizabeth burning the rum] No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade... the rum!
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One: because it is a *vile* dring that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two: that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me, do you think there is even the slightest chance they wont see it?
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?

Barbossa: You've only got one shot and we can't die.
Jack Sparrow: Don't do anything stupid.
Will Turner: You can't.
[points gun at his own throat]
Will Turner: I can.
Jack Sparrow: Like that.

Barbossa: I want 50 per cent of ye plunder.
Jack Sparrow: 15.
Barbossa: 40.
Jack Sparrow: 25.
Barbossa: [considering]
Jack Sparrow: And I'll buy you the hat. A really BIG one... Commodore.

Barbossa: [talking to Will Turner] Who are you?
Jack Sparrow: No one. He's no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.

Mullroy: Hey, you. Get away from there. You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate.
Jack Sparrow: I'm sorry. It's just... it's such a pretty boat-- ship.

Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley...
Ragetti: Parley?
Jack Sparrow: That's the one. Parley. Parley.
Pintel: Parley? avocado to the depths whatever man what thought of "Parley".
Jack Sparrow: That would be the French.

Murtogg: This dock is off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately.
[Jack makes to continue but is blocked by Murtogg and Mullroy]
Jack Sparrow: Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves, did not merit an invitation?
Murtogg: Someone's got to make sure that this dock stays off-limits to civilians.
Jack Sparrow: It's a fine goal, to be sure. But it seems to me... that a ship like that one, makes this one here seem a bit superfluous, really.
Murtogg: Oh, the Dauntless is the power in these waters, true enough. But there's no ship as can match the Interceptor for speed.
Jack Sparrow: I've heard of one, supposed to be very fast, nigh uncatchable: The Black Pearl.
Mullroy: Well, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy: You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails.
[Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed]
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: Like I said, there's no real ship as can match the Interceptor.
[Both Mullroy and Murtogg only just notice Jack sneaked onto the ship]

[Before Jack steals the Dauntless]
Norrington: That is, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever seen.

[after Jack steals the Interceptor]
Officer: That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen.
Norrington: So it would seem.

Norrington: Well, well, well Jack Sparrow, isn't it?
Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please sir.
Norrington: I don't see your ship, Captain.
Jack Sparrow: I'm in the market, as it were.

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria!
[Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved.
Anamaria: You stole my boat!
Jack Sparrow: Actually...
Anamaria: [Anamaria slaps Jack again]
Jack Sparrow: Borrowed... borrowed without permission, but with every intention of bringing it back.
Anamaria: But you didn't!
Jack Sparrow: You'll get another one!
Anamaria: I will.
Will Turner: A better one.
Jack Sparrow: A better one!
Will Turner: That one.
Jack Sparrow: What one?
Will Turner: [Will looks at the Interceptor]
Jack Sparrow: That one?!? ...Aye, that one. What say you to that?
The Crew: Aye!

Elizabeth: So that's it, then? That's the secret, grand adventure of the infamous Jack Sparrow. You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum.
Jack Sparrow: ...Welcome to the Caribbean, love.

Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Murtogg: Yeah, and no lies.
Jack Sparrow: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Murtogg: I said no lies.
Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.

Barbossa: So what now, Jack Sparrow? Are we to be two immortals locked in an epic battle until Judgment Day and trumpets sound?
Jack Sparrow: Or you could surrender.

Norrington: One good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness.
Jack Sparrow: Though it seems enough to condemn him.

[Barbossa pulls the bloody dagger from his chest]
Barbossa: I'm curious. After killing me what is it you're planning on doing next?

Pintel: 'Ello, poppet.

Jack Sparrow: [upon seeing Elizabeth plunge into the ocean] Will you be saving her then?
Mullroy: I can't swim.
[Jack looks at Murtogg... nods his head sideways]
Jack Sparrow: Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these.

Mullroy: Not breathing.
Jack Sparrow: Move.
[Jack slits the ties on Elizabeth's corset and rips it off, causing Elizabeth to regain consciousness, and spit out a lot of water]
Mullroy: Never would have though of that.
Jack Sparrow: Clearly you've never been to Singapore.

Jack Sparrow: You think this wise, boy... crossing blades with a pirate?
Will Turner: You threatened Miss Swann.
Jack Sparrow: Only a little.

Parrot: Shiver me timbers.
Mr. Gibbs: Cotton 'ere says you missed a bit.

Mr. Gibbs: The kid's a bit of a stick, isn't he?
Jack Sparrow: You have no idea.

Lt. Gillette: This ship cannot be crewed by two men. You'll never make it out of the bay.
Jack Sparrow: Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?

---

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Gibbs: We've only got half a dozen barrels of gunpowder.
Will Turner: Then load the rum.
Everyone...
Gibbs: ...Aye! Load the rum!

Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening.
[Elizabeth holds a gun to his face]
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening intently.

Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Norrington: My God. You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Will Turner: And with good reason.

Cotton's Bird: [squawk] Walk the plank! Walk the plank!
Jack Sparrow: [pulls out gun and points it at the bird] What did the bird say?

Gibbs: [going to see Tia Dalma] Don't worry, I've got ye back.
Jack Sparrow: It's more me front I'm worried about.

Jack Sparrow: [to Will] Mind the boat.
Will Turner: [to Gibbs] Mind the boat.
Gibbs: [to Ragetti] Mind the boat.
Ragetti: [to Pintel] Mind the boat.
Pintel: [to an anonymous sailor] Mind the boat.
Sunburned Sailor: [to Marty] Mind the boat.
Marty: [to Cotton's parrot] Mind the boat.
Cotton's Parrot: [to Cotton] Mind the boat.
[It flies off, leaving Cotton to pout and sit back down in the boat]

Jack Sparrow: Is this a dream?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: No, no, it is not a dream.
Jack Sparrow: Thought not. 'Cause if this were a dream... there'd be rum.

Gibbs: Lift it! Lift it like it were a lady's skirt!

Tia Dalma: I require payment.
Jack Sparrow: Look.
[shoots the monkey]
Jack Sparrow: An undead monkey! Top that!
Tia Dalma: The payment is fair...

Lord Cutler Beckett: A certain pirate named Jack Sparrow.
Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann: *Captain!*
Elizabeth Swann: *Captain* Jack Sparrow.

Gibbs: [Jack shows him a cloth containing a picture of a key which he has just risked his life for] A key!
Jack Sparrow: No. Much more better... It's a drawing of a key!

Pintel: You don't even know how to read!
Ragetti: It's The Bible, You get credit for trying!

Jack Sparrow: [to Norrington] Still rooting for you, mate!

Jack Sparrow: [empties bottle of rum] Why is the rum always gone?
Jack Sparrow: [stands up and staggers drunkenly] Oh... that's why.

Jack Sparrow: [to cannibals after escaping them onto the Black Pearl] My children! This is the day you will always remember as the day you...
[gets splashed by a wave]
Jack Sparrow: Captain Jack Sparrow.

Will Turner: What about Jack? I can't leave without him!
[sees Jack getting chased by cannibals]
Will Turner: ...[whimpers]Time to go!

Elizabeth Swann: There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments! I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Jack Sparrow: Dirt... this is a jar of dirt...
Tia Dalma: Yes...
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [pulling it closer] No.
Tia Dalma: Then, it helps.

I got one, its a continuation of Dead Man's Chest

Davy Jones: "Faster you meany manges of scum!"
Jack Sparrow: "I've got a Jar of Dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! Guess what's in it"
Davy Jones: "What the bloody? Turn already!" [The boom calling the cracken sounds]

P.S. nothing up there had gramatical errors, I had look for movie quotes and 3 sites had the same thing....

i love that movie. they couldn't have picked a better jack sparrow

Here's another from Dead man's Chest:

Jack: Elizabeth, those clothes does not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I just so happen to have another dress in my cabin.

Found a cool sites with tonsf unny quotes, you've probally already herad them but I thinks they are hillarious.


"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."
- Britney Spears, Pop Singer

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
- Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
- George Bush, former U.S. President

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel

Heres the link:
http://www.goodquotes.com

I like Oblivions signature, its cool and funny.

Ok here it is:
A funny answerphone message:
Hi. Now you say something.

I cant think of any quotes

I've got 2:

1~ A blooper in filming Pirates of the Caribbean 3
Jack Sparrow: Oh, is that a plane?

2~ Sth. my maths teacher always says after explaining a usefull way in calculating things quick:
Mr. maths teacher: It's not a trick, it's wisdom.

I love in the blooper reel they look into the hole with the chest and norrington says "hello there"



Edit: Oh ya and "If at first you don't suceed, skydiving isn't for you lol

I like the blooper on Pirates of the Caribbean 3 when Jack Sparrow
Forgets his lines and starts talking about his dog, Tim.

P.S: Johnny Depp (Jack Sparrow) lives a 5 min drive from my house!!!! 8D