Granted, but it shorts out and explodes.

I wish I had a fountain.

Granted, but no water comes out.

I wish school started again.

Granted, but you get worst teacher that gives you Fs on tests

I wish for the "Sims 2 Apartment Life" expansion pack.

Granted, but the disc was broken and you didn't get a refund.

I wish I had a cookie.

Granted, but its been in the oven for 6 weeks.

I wish I had a megaphone.

Granted, but it's so loud, you go deaf.

I wish I didn't have to deal with tourists.

(I really do)

Granted, but the happens for only 1 minute.

I wish I knew how to play the guitar.

Granted, but the string breaks and slaps you in the face.

I wish for a swimming pool.

Granted, but it comes with muck, dirt, mud, and mulch and costs you $800,000.

I wish I knew how to speak 5 different languages.

Granted, but you got them mixed up and no one understood you.

I wish that I had more settings on my effect pedal.