Any custom objects? This is really really good.

No custom scenery objects, expansion pack content, or successful train derailments, except for the one deranged employee who wanted to see if the train was also a boat. It wasn't.

Thanks, both of you!

Gardener's Revenge is your average Wisdom's Sizzler. The backstory behind this one, which nobody actually reads despite it being posted near the ride entrance, is that a Brookwood Gardens gardener became disgruntled with the way he was treated by management, so he painted a giant weed wacker green and hid it among plants as a trap for wandering guests. Because of the high, overgrown foliage around the ride, it is difficult to see from the Brookwood Express even though it is located right next to the track. According to the backstory, that was part of the gardener's plan. "No one can hear you scream over the sound of plants being trimmed."



As a traditional family fairground ride, it isn't particularly exciting or intense, but its location between the go-kart entrance and a marked railroad/coaster viewpoint have given this ride plenty of customers over the years, which would have been difficult otherwise because the camouflaged ride entrance, exit and queue line have mistakenly convinced many guests that that area was occupied by nothing except overgrown foliage. Not the management's best idea.

Speaking of gardens, slightly further along the path, you will find a Cheshire cat ride known as the Secret Garden. It's so secret, even the handymen forgot about it.



If you continue and pass under the railway bridge, you'll come to Sub Tours, which is, for all intents and purposes, a submarine ride. The submarines are so safe, riders are guaranteed via a short film at the beginning that they probably won't drown. 





Frequently asked question: Why is there no sub sandwich shop outside of sub tours? That would be hilarious!
Frequently answered answer: There used to be one, but it was eventually demolished for safety reasons. Since sub sandwiches resemble submarines, and they're named after submarines, many guests thought they were the same thing, so they would purchase sandwiches and dive into the water with them thinking that that was what the submarine ride was.

In the background, the Brookwood Circus can be seen, which consists of two amateur acrobats and three guys who sometimes dress like clowns.

Before venturing west, we must head back east just for a moment to admire Brookwood Gardens' historic section, built in the early 30s along with the first and oldest surviving roller coaster.



The only other surviving ride from that era is the Crazy Slide, which is the second oldest ride in the park, dating back to 1931. The other two, which were famously rough and unsafe, were replaced in the early 80s with newer, more modern rides: the old rusty ferris wheel with the loose nails sticking out of the seats was replaced with Santa Maria, a pirate ship ride themed after Christopher Columbus and how he was such a bad sea captain that he couldn't even keep his ship on a horizontal axis, and Whirligig, the "crack-the-whip" ride with the uncooperative restraints, was replaced with an enterprise of the same name, which averages 45% fewer blackouts and 70% fewer concussions annually than the original Whirligig did.

The pink roller coaster you see in the background is not the oldest roller coaster in the park. That one was built a decade later, then closed down in the early 60s due to fire damage and repeated incidents of the train flying off the track. In the 80s, it was rebuilt with a steel track, steel supports, and actual brakes, and since then, the train has only flown off the track a handful or two of times.

The large building that looks like it could be a train station is a train station. More specifically, it's the northern entrance to the Brookwood Express. The southern entrance is on the other side of the lake.





One ride operator thought it would be faster to derail the train and cut across the lake, so he attempted to do this with riders onboard. While he would have been correct had the train doubled as a speedboat, unfortunately it didn't, so 30 riders and one idiot train operator ended up soaking wet. Even though the train was only 10 feet from land when it completely submerged, and the water was no deeper than that, 12 riders lost their lives in this incident. When the train submerged, they believed they were on the submarine ride, so they sat and waited patiently for the ride to end. The haunted house, seen in the second image, is dedicated to these guests and was originally called "The 12 Ghosts of Brookwood Lake" before some of their relatives found out and deemed it inappropriate.

The blue building is the bumper car ride. The cleverly named "Bumper Cars" is the fourth oldest of 55 rides currently operating, dating back to 1941.



The original cars were replaced in 1972 after someone drove a real car onto the floor, which, despite being completely illegal, wasn't technically a violation of the ride's rules. There were no injuries following the incident, but the bumper cars were all totaled, and the guy ran out of gas during the ride, so he was escorted off the property with a first place trophy, even though bumper cars don't generally award winners. When he got to the park entrance, he refused to leave, so four employees had to lift him up and throw him through the gate, with one of them violently shaking his index finger and yelling, "And stay out!" before slamming the turnstile.

The cars were replaced again in 2007 when the exact same thing happened again. Even though security was much tighter and they possessed 21st century technology, this driver didn't run out of gas, and the Segways driven by security were no match for the errant driver's Prius, so he took his winning trophy to go and sped off into the night, never to be seen again. Even though hundreds witnessed this event, nobody wrote down the plate number because everyone assumed that someone else had already written it down. Park management still can't figure out why two different ride operators from different decades happened to have first place trophies lying around on a ride that doesn't award first place, or why they both awarded them to people who wrecked all the bumper cars and endangered the lives of hundreds of guests.

The beige building with the tan window panes is the park's oldest food court. After a funnel cake fire destroyed the original building in 1953, this one was built in its place.



To commemorate the early days of Brookwood Gardens, the food stands originally served old food, but the health department eventually stepped in and said, "No, you can't do that."

I really enjoy yer narration Terry! Now, on to more pressing matters...... WHEN IS BROOKWOOD GARDENS COMING OUT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

The first coasters should be revealed this coming month. They're next in line after the new NoLimits project.

Heading west again, we see a large, over-sized building with multiple double-tracked rides emerging from both above and below the main entrance to the building.



The ride crawling out from underneath the entrance is the double-tracked Western Tram Line, which transports guests who are too lazy to walk--but have no problem standing in line for 15 minutes--from the north end of the park to the south end of the west side of the park, and vice-versa.

The ride spewing from the roof is the equally double-tracked Sky Sailor, which is a standard sky ride that gives guests an aerial view of the west side of the park, which many guests will tell you is better than the east side of the park. However, some guests say that the east side of the park is better than the west side, which has thus resulted in a long-standing feud between east side and west side guests.





Without the scenery, one can see that this dark building that smells like old mixed vegetables has been thoughtfully laid out, allowing multiple entrance and exit paths to maximize queue space within the building. One can also see from the tram entrance paths how seriously handymen take their jobs on this side of the park.

Following the tracks in a southerly direction--or if you're a milquetoast, the path--you'll stumble across a large, gray castle overlooking the Western Tram Lines and Brookwood Express tracks.



If you find your way inside the castle, you'll see two parallel miniature golf courses, the Knight's Course and the equally stimulating Nobleman's Course.



Originally, the two "racing" minigolf courses were not built within the castle walls, but out in the open with only a few medieval-themed pieces of scenery around them. After a decade of operation, park management found four reasons why higher walls were a non-negotiable requirement.

1. Guests would intentionally try to hit their golf balls into the passing trains and trams. Brookwood Express didn't always have covered train cars, so golf balls had no trouble flying in and smacking innocent riders on the head. Even the buffoons chucking cookies from go-karts caused fewer injuries than these reckless putters.
2. Guests would try and hit other guests, who would be walking on the nearby path, with golf balls. If they missed, they would often become upset and hurl their golf clubs at the unsuspecting guests, which allowed for a higher rate of accuracy in both contact and injuries.
3. Guests on the Knight's Course, which is located only 5 feet from the Western Tram Line tracks, would take their clubs and give passing trams a friendly BANG BANG BANG and sometimes try and throw their golf balls, or often chicken nuggets, through the tram windows. Glass windows were also added to the trams shortly thereafter.
4. Guests would accidentally hit their golf balls off the course and run onto the track or dive into the lake to retrieve them. While they remembered that the Brookwood Express only moved in one direction, most of them forgot that the trams could come from either direction, so the Western Tram Lines hold the world record for most people accidentally hit by a single tram system in an amusement park. Since they're slow-moving vehicles, only 34 in 127 cases have been fatal,* ranking it as only the #4 cause of death within Brookwood Gardens behind drowning, food poisoning, and people jumping off Sky Sailor to try and hitch a ride on the train.

On the other side of the path, another food court can be seen. In the spirit of the medieval theme, the food stands serve what they claim were the three most popular foods during the Middle Ages: chicken nuggets, cotton candy, and canned sodas.

* This does not include guests who jumped off Sky Sailor and were subsequently run over by the tram.

--

Across the path from the castle sits another car ride, Countryside Exhibition.





Situated between two roller coasters, this electric-driven automobile ride built in the early 90s is themed after Formula One racing cars casually cruising on a wilderness road. While the theme may be lackluster enough on its own, the park was also unable to receive permission to use the "Formula One" name, so the name doesn't appear anywhere on the ride. Instead, the cars are painted with the brands they could afford to license, which consist solely of the various logos from the Brookwood Gardens food stands.

The ride has one rule distinct from the other car rides: don't climb the walnut trees. An incident occurred in 2001 where a guest climbed a walnut tree and flung walnuts at the riders as they passed. Park management suspected vehement squirrels at first, so the guest remained in the tree and continued his nut-slinging escapade for six straight weeks before complaints prompted security to investigate. A surveillance system was added shortly after the incident with cameras pointed at every walnut tree, but unfortunately this still left blind spots. The same guest returned a month later, climbed a laburnum tree, and dumped fizzy drinks on the passing riders. Park management found the complaints strange, but still suspected squirrels and decided not to investigate, as they didn't want to take any chances against the rising soda profits. When the guest ran out of money, he derailed one of the cars and tried to pawn it at the soda stand, but they wouldn't accept it, and he was promptly escorted out of the park. The rider in the derailed car, while pleased with the excitement, complained that he didn't get to finish the course and demanded a free ride. Since all rides are free upon admission, park management amicably granted the request.

You mustn't let the statistics lead you to believe that this park is a death trap. Most guests who visit Brookwood Gardens come out alive. As long as you follow the rules, don't jump from one ride to another, and stay out of the water, there's a 98% chance you'll survive. You probably also shouldn't eat the food.

Adjacent to the large castle, you'll see a small, brown building topped with a tower. The tower is where Rapunzel lives, and we call her that because A. We don't know her real name, B. She won't tell us her real name, and C. Her hair is obscenely long as a result of living in a tower for 17 years. Even though she climbed up there in 1998, security hasn't attempted to get her down because the roof is lined with pigeon spikes, and they don't want their toes to get hurt. Since she made the tower her home, she has screamed obscene language at the passing guests--which has evolved into almost complete gibberish--and in return, they try and hit her with food. This is the method she uses for survival, and it gets her at least one meal nearly every day. Even if she remained completely silent, probability states that, with the amount of food thrown in Brookwood Gardens, she'd probably get a free lunch two or three times a week. Brookwood Gardens does not and has never discouraged guests from throwing food. Since 72% of the park's profits come from food purchased for projectile usage, they have every reason to encourage it.

In addition to being home to an incoherent old hermit, the small building is also a docking platform for jet skis. Going with the medieval theme again, the jet skis were once painted to look like horses, complete with reins, saddles, and horse heads (fake of course), but guests tried to ride them on land and subsequently complained that they were defective, so the equine additions were removed, and the jet skis were repainted to look like jet skis.



Sky Sailor continues to assert its dominance by remaining higher and therefore mightier than all the other non-roller coasters around it, while the roller coasters look on from the sidelines, unimpressed.





When riders enter one of the support towers and they see an empty car approaching, often they'll jump out of their seats and try and land in it. It's considered "safe" because if they miss, at least this time they only have three feet of falling in store for them, and when another empty car approaches--they aren't hard to come by due to reasonably low ridership and other people leaping from their cars--they can hitch a ride towards the other tower and attempt the stunt again. Guests will line up and jump back and forth between towers for hours, which usually isn't a safety hazard unless six or seven of them jump onto a car at once and it comes crashing down. The first time this happened, the car landed on the tracks directly in front of an approaching tram, which, upon running the car over, caused the tram to derail and coast into the small lake, knocking a rider off his jet ski. Nobody on the tram was seriously injured, but the brakes were seriously damaged as a result of the incident. This is why, while the tram on the other track enters the station slowly and carefully, this one charges in like a wrecking ball and jolts riders out of their seats when it comes to a stop.

Can you spot both handymen in the final screenshot?