A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session  with
four young mothers and their small children...

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny."

He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her
little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, D**k, we're leaving."

Good one.

I have one...
Theres a blonde girl and a brunette and a midget in an elevator. So the brunette looks down at the midget and she can see he has alot of dandruff, so she says to him, "you need some head and shoulders." So the blonde say, "How do you do that?"

ok i dont get the last two jokes...and for the record i have black hair...

you have all heard this but i just had to type it up

whats the similarity with Michael Jackson and a Playstayion? Kids know who to turn them on!!! HAHA!! Oh gets me every time...

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 10 o'clock news together. The current news was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The situation cut to a commercial.
Brunette: "I'll bet you $20 he's going to jump."
Blonde: "Okay."
(then back to the newscast.)
He jumps.
Blonde: "Okay, here's my $20."
Brunette: "No, that was too easy, I can't take your money."
Blonde: "I insist. I lost!"
Brunette: "I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6 o'clock news and knew he jumped. So it wasn't really a fair bet."
Blonde: "I saw the exact same newscast, but I didn't think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!"

As a senior citizen was driving his Reliant Regal down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Dennis, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M42. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Dennis, "Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!"

see here for more stupid things (my old msn space)

http://spaces.msn.com/members/WELCOMETOT...s=95237d43&

lmao

/\/\lol/\/\

WHAT THE WIFE SAYS:

â¦..Go to the store; lay down the mulch; wash and wax the car; get the kids at school; rent some videos; and finish the rest of the dishes.

WHAT THE HUSBAND HEARS:

â¦..GO,.,.,LAY.,.,.,DOWN..,.,AND..,.,GET..,.,

SOME.,.,.REST

erm....that ones worse than my horse in the bar joke(if you can call that one a joke) still, 7/10 for trying m8...lol