HUSBAND AND WIVES. THE REAL CONVERSATION.

WHAT THE WIFE SAYS:

â¦..Go to the store; lay down the mulch; wash and wax the car; get the kids at school; rent some videos; and finish the rest of the dishes.

WHAT THE HUSBAND HEARS:

â¦..GO,.,.,LAY.,.,.,DOWN..,.,AND..,.,GET..,.,

SOME.,.,.REST

As a senior citizen was driving his Reliant Regal down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Dennis, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M42. Please be careful!" "Hell," said Dennis, "Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!"

three women, two younger, and one senor citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," She said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, the explained, "that was my mobil phone. I have a microchip in my han.

The older woman felt very low tech. Not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. she returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said......
"Well, will you look at that...I'm getting a fax!!!!"

Great jokes, guys!

A Man throws petrol over some Tramps...
A Policeman sees this, and says "what are you doing"
the man replies......."about twenty to the gallon"

Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other, "Are you a little girl or a little boy?"

"I don't know," replied the other baby giggling.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" said the first baby.

"I mean I don't know how to tell the difference," was the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first baby chuckling, "I'll climb into your crib
and find out."

He carefully manoeuvred himself into the other baby's crib, then quickly disappeared beneath the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big grin on his face. "You're a little girl, and I'm a little boy," he said proudly.

"You're ever so clever," cooed the baby girl, "but how can you tell?"

"It's quite easy really," replied the baby boy, "you've got pink socks
and I've got blue ones."


SHAME ON YOU, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???

lmao

anybody else have any??

Only English peeps will get this one....Whats Heather Mills and Arsenal got in common?.................They both wish they had Second legs.

haha yep i know that one lmao
anybody else got one?